I Have Seen What A Laugh Can

I've Been Playing Golf A Long Time, Although It's Not Really True That On My First Round They Strapped My Bag On The Back Of A Dinosaur.

My Folks Were English . . . We Were Too Poor To Be British.

If My Golf Game Was A Prize Fight, They'd Stop It.

Welcome To The Academy Awards, Or, As It's Known At My House, Passover.

Jimmy Stewart Could Have Been A Good Golfer, But He Speaks So Slowly That By The Time He Yells 'fore!' The Guy He's Hit Is Already In An Ambulance On The Way To The Hospital.