I Don't Have Change I'd Have To

In America You Can Go On The Air And Kid The Politicians, And The Politicians Can Go On The Air And Kid The People.

Any Place I Hang My Head Is Home.

Given The Choice Between A Woman And A Cigar, I Will Always Choose The Cigar.

I Must Say I Find Television Very Educational. The Minute Somebody Turns It On, I Go To The Library And Read A Good Book. Another Version I Find Television Very Educating. Every Time Somebody Turns On The Set, I Go Into The Other Room And Read A Book. Another Version I Find Television Very Educational. Every Time Someone Turns It On, I Go In The Other Room And Read A Book.

The Difference Between A Politician And A Snail Is That The Snail Leaves Its Slime Behind. Whoever Named It Necking Was A Poor Judge Of Anatomy.