I Intend To Live Forever, Or Die

When Discovered By His Wife, Kissing The Maid, Groucho Said, "i Was Just Whispering In Her Mouth"

My Mother Loved Children - She Would Have Given Anything If I Had Been One.

I'm Not Feeling Very Well - I Need A Doctor Immediately. Ring The Nearest Golf Course.

My Experience Is That People Are Most Likely To Listen To Reason When In Bed.

Policeman: "a Hermit Eh? Then Why's Your Table Set For Four?" Groucho: "that's Nothing. My Alarm Clock Is Set For Eight.