I Am So Out Of The Loop.

With This Face, I Need All The Deals I Can Get.

My Obstetrician Was So Dumb That When I Gave Birth He Forgot To Cut The Cord. For A Year That Kid Followed Me Everywhere. It Was Like Having A Dog On A Leash.

Life Is Hard. And We Better Laugh At Everything, Otherwise We're Going Down The Tube.

All Babies Look Like Renée Zellweger Pushed Against A Glass Window.

I've Learned From Doing My Own Show With Fox That People Are Not Your Partners If They're Signing The Checks. Whoever Signs Your Paycheck Is The Boss - No Matter What They Tell You.