I Am So Out Of The Loop.

The Fun Of Working On The Road Means Stealing From Hotels. I've Been Doing It For So Long, I Have A Set Of Towels From The Ark.

Why Should A Woman Cook? So Her Husband Can Say 'my Wife Makes A Delicious Cake' To Some Hooker?

At My Funeral, I Want Meryl Streep Crying In Five Different Accents.

I’ve Had So Much Plastic Surgery, When I Die They Will Donate My Body To Tupperware.

My Mother Could Make Anybody Feel Guilty - She Used To Get Letters Of Apology From People She Didn't Even Know.