If You Don't Think You're Funny, No

In Life The Only Thing That You Can Expect Is The Unexpected; The Only Surprise Is A Day That Has None.

Never Admit That Your Back Goes Out More Than You Do

Oprah Winfrey Is So Powerful That She Had The Rapture Postponed Until After Her Final Show Airs.

Here's A Thanksgiving Tip. Generally, Your Turkey Is Not Cooked Enough If It Passes You The Cranberry Sauce.

A Man Can Sleep Around, No Questions Asked, But If A Woman Makes Nineteen Or Twenty Mistakes She's A Tramp.