God Always Comes Up With A Third

I'm Going Out With These Old Guys. One Guy Gave Me A Hickey And Left His Teeth In My Neck. Another Man, We Were Having A Perfectly Lovely Dinner; He Looked Up And Me And Went: You're Not My Wife! Another Guy Died During Dinner. I Had To Go In His Pocket To Get The American Express Card. Then You Wonder: What Would He Tip? Another Guy Said: I Want You To Meet My Family, And Took Me To The Cemetery.

I Have Flabby Thighs, But Fortunately My Stomach Covers Them.

I Think Hillary Clinton's Style Is Perfect. Perfect. You Don't Notice What She's Wearing, You Notice The Woman.

I Have No Sex Appeal. If My Husband Didn't Toss And Turn, We'd Never Have Had Any Kids.

I Love The Way My Life Has Fallen Into Place.