I Hate Reality Shows That Are Not

I've Always Hate Child Stars, Starting From Way Back When, When I Was A Child. The First Child Star I Saw Was Shirley Temple. She Was Six Years Old, Two Foot Six And The Biggest Star In Hollywood. She Wore Ribbons In Her Hair, And Frilly Little Pinafores And Shiny Patent-leather Tap Shoes - Just Like The Boys In Glee Do.

Both Of My Parents Got To See Me Host Carson, Thank God. That's All Anyone Wants: To Have Their Parents See They're Going To Be All Right In Life.

I Know Now That Everybody In The Arts Is Forever A Beginner. Experience Counts For A Great Deal And Very Little. Every Night Onstage I Feel I Am Starting From Scratch, Still Not Quite Sure What I Am Doing And Where I Am Going, Thrown By The Simplest Thing That Goes Wrong.

It's So Long Since I've Had Sex I've Forgotten Who Ties Up Who.

You Know You're Getting Old When Work Is A Lot Less Fun And Fun Is A Lot More Work.