There Are Three Signs Of Old Age:

I Know My Limit. I Just Keep Passing Out Before I Reach It.

I Consider The Television Set As The American Fireplace, Around Which The Whole Family Will Gather.

I've Put On A Lot Of Weight... I Only Weighed Six And A Half Pounds When I Was Born.

Television: The Device That Brings Into Your Living Room Characters You Would Never Allow In Your Living Room.

I Don't Hate My Enemies. After All, I Made 'em.