Being With Friends Felt Like A Burden.

Comedy Can't Live Within My Second-guesses, So I Started Doing New Material. Sometimes I Bombed. But You Have To Be Willing To If You Want To Move Forward And Stay Vital. It's Like People Who Take Pride In Not Having A Computer. I'm All, "great, Don't Learn New Things! Your Brain Is Full!"

I Mean, I Love Being With Friends And I Love Kissing And Loving Someone To Pieces. But It's Hard To Find Someone Who Doesn't Ultimately Start Judging You And Your Choices.

My Stepfather, John O'hara, Was The Goodest Man There Was. He Was Not A Man Of Many Words, But Of Carefully Chosen Ones. He Was The One Parent Who Didn't Try To Fix Me. One Night I Sat On His Lap In His Chair By The Wood Stove, Sobbing. He Just Held Me Quietly And Then Asked Only, "what Does It Feel Like?" It Was The First Time I Was Prompted To Articulate It. I Thought About It, Then Said, "i Feel Homesick." That Still Feels Like The Most Accurate Description - I Felt Homesick, But I Was Home.

Unvisited Tombstones, Unread Diaries, And Erased Video Game High-score Rankings Are Three Of The Most Potent Symbols Of Mankind's Pathetic And Fruitless Attempts At Immortality.

I Think Maybe I Became Funny Because As A Kid, I Was A Jew In A Town Of No Jews, And Being Funny Just Instinctively Came About As A Way To Put People At Ease Around Me.