Don’t Forget, God Can See You Masturbating.

Letting Your Freak Flag Fly Is Something, No Matter Who You Are, That Takes Great Bravery, Straight Up.

When I Was Three, My Dad Thought It Would Be Hilarious To Teach Me Swear Words, Then Have Me Say Them To His Friends. They Would Laugh And Laugh. I Realize Now The Laugh Was Pure Shock Value, But It Felt Really Good, And I've Been Chasing It Ever Since.

I Looked Up And Saw The Shape Of A Heart Made By The Silhouette Of Ben Affleck And Matt Damon Kissing.

I'm A Very Ritualistic Person. I Have To Wash My Face Twice, And On The Second Wash Before I Rinse, I Brush My Teeth, Then I Rinse, Then I Floss, Then I Put On Moisturizer. I'm Ritualistic. Jewishness Is Very Ritualistic.

My Mom Was Always Someone Who If, Even Now, I Say I Met A Certain Famous Person, She Always Says, "she's Married To So And So!"