Everyone's Got Their Own Velocity, And There's

It's Really Stupid To Defend Your Own Jokes. That Is For Other People To Do If They Choose To.

I Do Love Poop. I Can't Help It. The Heart Wants What It Wants. I Enjoy Being Clever And Pithy And Political, But Nothing's Going To Get Me Like Dumb Stuff.

Scientology Is Weird Because It's New.

I Became Known For Surprising Audiences. Except Now, If I Surprise Them Every Time, They Expect That.

Dear America, When You Tell Gay Americans That They Can't Serve Their Country Openly Or Marry The Person That They Love, You're Telling That To Kids Too. So Don't Be F**king Shocked And Wonder Where All These Bullies Are Coming From That Are Torturing Young Kids And Driving Them To Kill Themselves Because They're Different; They Learned It From Watching You.