Before I Met Her, I Drank And

I Never Yell, I Never Tell, But I'm Grateful As Hell.

I Thought I Couldn't Afford To Take Her Out And Smoke As Well. So I Gave Up Cigarettes. Then I Took Her Out And One Day I Looked At Her And Thought: 'oh Well,' And I Went Back To Smoking Again, And That Was Better.

Live Everyday As Though It's Your Last 'cause One Day You'll Be Right.

Girls Are Like Pianos. When They're Not Upright, They're Grand.

Those Hot Pants Of Hers Were So Damned Tight, I Could Hardly Breathe.