Girls Are Like Pianos. When They're Not

Those Hot Pants Of Hers Were So Damned Tight, I Could Hardly Breathe.

Before I Met Her, I Drank And Swore Without Reason... Now I Have A Reason.

The Odds Against There Being A Bomb On A Plane Are A Million To One, And Against Two Bombs A Million Times A Million To One. Next Time You Fly, Cut The Odds And Take A Bomb.

Did You Ever Notice That Everyone In Favour Of Birth Control Has Already Been Born ?

Just Because Nobody Complains Doesn't Mean All Parachutes Are Perfect.