A Committee Is A Group That Keeps

I Gave My Wife A Twenty-five-dollar Gift Certificate. She Used It As A Down Payment On A Mink Coat.

I Take New Years With A Grain Of Salt And Three Aspirins.

I Bought My Kid An Educational Toy To Help Him Make It Through Life. No Matter How You Put It Together, It's Wrong.

There Are A Lot Of Things Money Can't Buy. Not One Of Them Is On My Son's List.

I Don't Worry Too Much About Sex Education In The Schools. If The Kids Learn It Like They Do Everything Else, They Won't Know How.