I Was An Angst-y Journal Writing Kid.

You Worry Too Much. Eat Some Bacon...what? No, I Got No Idea If It'll Make You Feel Better, I Just Made Too Much Bacon.

That Woman Was Sexy. . . . Out Of Your League? Son, Let Women Figure Out Why They Won't Screw You. Don't Do It For Them.

When It's Asshole-tightening Time, That's When You See What People Are Made Of. Or At Least What Their Asshole Is Made Of.

I Almost Feel Like I'm Unoffendable Now. I Can Roll With Whatever.

No, You Can't Go Getting Mad At People Because They're Shitty. Life Will Get Mad At Them, Don't Worry.