I Just Wanted To Compile These Stories

I Was An Angst-y Journal Writing Kid.

People Are Always Trying To Tell You How They Feel. Some Of Them Say It Outright, And Some Of Them, They Tell You With Their Actions. And You Have To Listen. I Don't Know What Will Happen With Your Lady Friend. I Think She's A Nice Person, And I Hope You Get What You Want. But Do Me A Favor: Listen, And Don't Ignore What You Hear.

When It's Asshole-tightening Time, That's When You See What People Are Made Of. Or At Least What Their Asshole Is Made Of.

Eventually, Though, I Came To The Conclusion That I Was The Male Equivalent Of A Toyota Camry. You Know: No One Ever Says, "i Have To Have A Toyota Camry." But Most People Who Spend Some Time In A Camry Start To Like It. "it's Pretty Reliable," They Think. "it Doesn't Have A Lot Of Problems, And It's Not Bad To Look At. You Know What? I'd Probably Prefer A Nicer Car. But I Can Live With A Camry.

Although Kurt Vonnegut May Not Be Considered A Humor Writer, 'breakfast Of Champions' Is One Of The Funniest Books I've Ever Read.