Ben Elton Quotes

I Did Not Vote Labour Because They've Heard Of Oasis And Nobody Is Going To Vote Tory Because William Hague Has Got A Baseball Cap.

You're Mugging Old Ladies Every Bit As Much If You Pinch Their Pension Fund

If I Did Things For The Money, I'd Have Done Adverts In The 1980s, When I Was Hot Enough To Be Offered Them, And 'police Academy 6,' Which I Was Asked To Write.

Yes, Ok, Farty Is A Silly Word. I Wish I'd Never Used It. I'm 34. Perhaps It Was A Word For My 20s.

You Think I Look Like A Teletubby?

The Earth Only Has So Much Bounty To Offer And Inventing Ever Larger And More Notional Prices For That Bounty Does Not Change Its Real Value.

I Try Hard Not To Preach, But I Get Carried Away, Which Is A Mistake, But It's A Risk Worth Running.

This Calls For A Very Special Blend Of Psychology And Extreme Violence.

No Collection Of People Who Are All Waiting For The Same Thing Are Capable Of Holding A Natural Conversation. Even If The Thing They Are Waiting For Is Only A Taxi.

Books Are The Key. A Book Cannot Be Accessed From Afar. You Have To Hold It, You Have To Read It.

I Loved Writing 'two Brothers' More Than Anything Else I Have Written. It's The First Book I've Written That I've Always Known I Wanted To Write. Having Said That, It Also Kept Me Awake At Nights.

I Don't Consider Myself Jewish. I Am Half-jewish By Race But Not Through My Mother.