I Try Hard Not To Preach, But

Beyond Love, Beyond Unrequited Love, Perhaps Even Beyond Any Other Passion Known To Humanity, Deep, Deep In The Depths Of The Turgid, Clinging, Swamplike Pit Of Despair That Lies Dormant Within Every Soul, Lurks Jealousy. Jealousy, That Most Demeaning And Debilitating Of Emotions. Jealousy, Which Can Double The Strength Of The Love Upon Which It Is Based, But Whilst Doubling It, Warp And Pervert It, Untill It Is No Longer Recognizable As The Thing Of Beauty It Once Was. Jealous Love Is No More Like True Love Than Mr Hyde Was Like Dr Jekyll Or A Stagnant Swamp Is Like A Freshwater Lake.

You're Mugging Old Ladies Every Bit As Much If You Pinch Their Pension Fund

The Germans Are A Cruel Race. Their Operas Last For Six Hours And They Have No Word For Fluffy.

Comedy Will Always Be Central To What I Do, It's Just An Instinct For Me, But I Am A Writer And Always Have Been.

If Only The Strength Of The Love That People Feel When It Is Reciprocated Could Be As Intense And Obsessive As The Love We Feel When It Is Not; Then Marriages Would Be Truly Made In Heaven.