If I Did Things For The Money,

I Did Not Vote Labour Because They've Heard Of Oasis And Nobody Is Going To Vote Tory Because William Hague Has Got A Baseball Cap.

Comedy Will Always Be Central To What I Do, It's Just An Instinct For Me, But I Am A Writer And Always Have Been.

People Who Get Through Life Dependent On Other People's Possessions Are Always The First To Lecture You On How Little Possessions Count.

I Exercise Hard And The Reason I Do Is So That I Can Earn The Things I Like To Consume.

Beyond Love, Beyond Unrequited Love, Perhaps Even Beyond Any Other Passion Known To Humanity, Deep, Deep In The Depths Of The Turgid, Clinging, Swamplike Pit Of Despair That Lies Dormant Within Every Soul, Lurks Jealousy. Jealousy, That Most Demeaning And Debilitating Of Emotions. Jealousy, Which Can Double The Strength Of The Love Upon Which It Is Based, But Whilst Doubling It, Warp And Pervert It, Untill It Is No Longer Recognizable As The Thing Of Beauty It Once Was. Jealous Love Is No More Like True Love Than Mr Hyde Was Like Dr Jekyll Or A Stagnant Swamp Is Like A Freshwater Lake.