You're Not Drunk If You Can Lie

Johnny Carson Is A Comedian Who Is Seen Every Night In Millions Of Bedrooms All Over America...and That's Why His Last Wife Left Him.

When The World Seems To Shine Like You've Had Too Much Wine, That's Amore.

If You Drink Don't Drive. Don't Even Putt.

I Was So Drunk Last Night I Fell Down And Missed The Floor.

If People Want To Think I Get Drunk And Stay Out All Night, Let'em. That's How I Got Here, You Know.