You're Aging When Your Actions Creak Louder

This Man's Wife Told Him, "for Christmas, Surprise Me." On Christmas Eve He Leaned Over Where She Was Sleeping And Said, "boo!"

I Just Filled Out My Income Tax Forms. Who Says You Can't Get Killed By A Blank?

I'd Rather Be A Could-be If I Cannot Be An Are; Because A Could-be Is A Maybe Who Is Reaching For A Star. I'd Rather Be A Has-been Than A Might-have-been, By Far; For A Might Have-been Has Never Been, But A Has Was Once An Are.

All My Wife Wanted For Valentine's Day Was A Little Card - American Express.

I Have A Brother Who Is Afraid To Go To Sleep, He Dreams He's Working.