You're Aging When Your Actions Creak Louder

If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build A Door.

In The Suburbs It's Hard To Buy Your Christmas Gifts Early In The Year. You Never Know Who Your Friends Will Be In December.

My Sister-in-law Found A Real Surprise In Her Stockings - My Brother.

I Like To Think Of Myself As The Middleman Between Fred Allen And Henny Youngman.

I'd Rather Be A Could-be If I Cannot Be An Are; Because A Could-be Is A Maybe Who Is Reaching For A Star. I'd Rather Be A Has-been Than A Might-have-been, By Far; For A Might Have-been Has Never Been, But A Has Was Once An Are.