You're Aging When Your Actions Creak Louder

I Bought An Ideal Gift For My Mother-in-law - A Battery-operated Mouth.

I Was In A Department Store And I Saw A Weird-looking Gadget. I Asked The Young Saleslady What It Was. She Answered, "it Doesn't Do Anything. It's Just A Christmas Gift."

You Can Lead A Man To Congress, But You Can't Make Him Think.

My Wife Can't Figure Out What To Buy Me. What Do You Give A Man Who's Had Everything Up To Here?

At The Christmas Party, The Secretary With The Long Red Hair Ate Three Pickles, And Four Salesmen Panicked.