You Might Be A Redneck If You

When You're Young And You Get To Choose Between Sleep And Sex You Take Sex Everytime. You Start Getting Older, You Get To Choose Between Sleep And Sex, You Choose Sleep And Just Hope You Have A Dream About Sex.

You Break Into My House, I Will Shoot You. My Wife Will Shoot You And Then Spend Thirty Minutes Telling You Why She Shot You.

Every Generation Thinks They Invented Sex, Which Is The Stupidest Assumption In The World Because If That Was The Case, You Wouldn't Even Be Here.

You Might Be A Redneck If Someone Tells You You Have Something In Your Teeth, And You Take Them Out To See What It Is.

If You Think The Last Four Words To The National Anthem Are " Gentleman, Start Your Engines", You Might Be A Redneck.