You Look Like You Deep Fry Your

I Think Some People Just Don't Know That Much About Comedy. It Would Be Like A Person Who Didn't Know Anything About Football Thinking All Offensive Linemen Are The Same.

I Can Stand By A Tweet. But Comedy Central Said They Couldn't Publicly Support Me, Unless I Deleted It. I Wasn't About To Tell The People Who Work For Me That They Didn't Have Jobs Anymore Because I Wasn't Going To Delete A Stupid Tweet.

I Love Austin, But Last Time I Was In Town For Twelve Hours. I Was Exhausted, Drunk And Miserable. But None Of That Was Austin's Fault.

I Think A Theater Show Is A Pure Version Of Me Doing My Material. The Theater Crowd Is A Bit More Polite, There Really Aren't Hecklers, And There Are A Lot Of People There To See Me, And They're Excited About The Jokes And Hanging Out With Me For A Show.

I Would Never Hit A Woman - Even If She Had A Knife Or A Stutter.