You Look Like You Deep Fry Your

I'm Too Cynical To Be An Optimist.

I Want To Get A Tattoo Of The Word Irony, Only Misspelled.

I Like To Play Pranks On My Girlfriend, You Know, Keep Things Fresh For Me, Make Me Laugh, You Know? She Hates It. But Like, The Other Night, I Put Saran Wrap Over The Toilet Seat, You Know, Which Doesn't Sound That Original, But She's Bulimic.

My Girlfriend Is Jewish. But It's Easier To Buy Her A Christmas Present And Then Break It Into 8 Pieces.

Sure, Retarded Jokes Write Themselves. But The Spelling Is Always Way Off.