You Look Like You Deep Fry Your

I Was Always Cutting Words. I Even Would Write My Jokes In My Notebook. I Still Do This, Almost Like A Poem.

What Do I Care If Someone Doesn't Like Me. If I Like Someone Other People Hate, It Makes Me Feel Special. I Think My Fans Feel That Way.

I Was A Weird Kid Because I Liked To Be Alone, But I Craved Attention. It Was Important For Me To Be Cool, But I Couldn't Keep My Mouth Shut. So I Was Either Talking For The Sake Of Talking, Or I Was Curled Up With A Book Somewhere Hiding From Everyone.

Doctor Just Told Me I Can't Have Kids. I Asked For A Second Opinion. He Said, Why? No One's Gonna To Let You Take Kids From This Hospital.

I Loved Stephen Wright, And I Loved Mitch Hedberg, But They Seemed Like Geniuses You Could Never Emulate. You'd Just Be Ripping Them Off.