You Know When Jerry Ford Gets The

Humor Is Very Very Risky, Particularly For A Candidate, Unless He's Been In So Long That It Just Doesn't Matter, And He's Not Running For President. But It's Just That People Are So Sensitive And So Touchy, And You're Just Going To Upset Somebody Without Ever Realizing It.

If You Call Your Opponent A Politician, It's Grounds For Libel.

A Consultant Is A Guy Who Knows 125 Different Ways To Make Love, But Who Doesn't Know Any Women.

You've Got The Brain-washed, That's The Democrats, And The Brain-dead, That's The Republicans!

If The Audience Doesn't Like It, Usually They're Just Silent. But They've Never All Walked Out At Once.