You've Got The Brain-washed, That's The Democrats,

I'm Not Trying To Write A Bleak And Blistering Screed Against American Civilization. I'm Writing Something That I Hope Is Fun And Satirical And Full Of Possibility.

I Think You Can't Write With Anger. I Think It Always Has To Be With A Wink. There Always Has To Be An Element Of Hope In What You Write. Otherwise You're Just Getting Mad And It's Not Going To Be Fun For Anybody.

I Can't Think Of A Performer Who Is Better On Television Than In Person.

If You Call Your Opponent A Politician, It's Grounds For Libel.

The Scientific Theory I Like Best Is That The Rings Of Saturn Are Composed Entirely Of Lost Airline Luggage.