You Can't Do Anything In Life. The

Golf And Dating Don't Mix.

I'm Not Quite As Anonymous As I Was.

I Couldn't Be Happier That President Bush Has Stood Up For Having Served In The National Guard, Because I Can Finally Put An End To All Those Who Questioned My Motives For Enlisting In The Army Reserve At The Height Of The Vietnam War.

All Of A Sudden I Discovered That I'm Allergic To Caviar. It Was The Perfect Metaphor For My Life. When I Was Only Able To Afford Bad Caviar, I Could Certainly Eat My Fill Of It.

If I Was Going Onstage, Of Course I Would Talk About It. How Could I Not?