You Can't Cheat An Honest Man.

Women Are Like Elephants To Me. I Like To Look At Them, But I Wouldn't Want To Own One.

First Prize Was A Week In Philadelphia. Second Prize Was Two Weeks.

Set Up Another Case Bartender! The Best Thing For A Case Of Nerves Is A Case Of Scotch.

There Are Seven Natural Openings In The Head And Body. A Lawyer Is The Only Human Being With Eight. The Extra One Is A Slot To Store Money In, Should His Bank Be Unable To Hold All Of It.

Wouldn't It Be Terrible If I Quoted Some Reliable Statistics Which Prove That More People Are Driven Insane Through Religious Hysteria Than By Drinking Alcohol.