You Can't Cheat An Honest Man.

A Man Without A Woman Is Like A Neck Without A Pain.

Abstaining Is Favorable Both To The Head And The Pocket.

I've Been On A 46-year Diet Of Olives And Alcohol. The Latter I Consume. The Former I Save And Use Over Again In More Alcohol. In My Lifetime, I Imagine, I Have Consumed At Least $200,000 Worth Of Whisky.

I Never Drink Water. I'm Afraid It Will Become Habit-forming.

Ye Gads, No! I Couldn't Stand The Noise.