Bob Saget Quotes

The Favorite Method Of Vice Is To Diss All Responsibility Be Work Or Social, Go Off By Myself, And Enjoy A Good Steak And A Great Glass Of Wine. Oh Yeah, And My Kids Are There Too.

Around Comics, I've Always Been Known For, Oh, That's Not Dirty, This Is Dirty.

My Dad's Like, If Your Mom And I Are Having Sex And We Videotape It And She Falls Out Of Bed Funny, Can I Win Ten-thousand Dollars?

I Was Going To Do A Big Radio Show, And I Said To My Driver, 'radio Can Wait, Take Me To The Full House House.' It Literally Was A Drive-by. I Photobombed The Full House House Yesterday. I Took Like 20 Pictures Because I Thought I Didn't Look Good In Any Of These - You Can't See The House! You Gotta Really Show That That's The House!

I Think Comedy Is On An Organic Upsurge Right Now Because When I Started, It Was 1978 At The Comedy Store And Letterman Had Just Stopped Emceeing His Morning Show.

The Comedy Store - All Three Rooms Were Filled With 800 People In The Room. And During That Time, All These Guys And Some Women, But Mostly Guys Who Weren't Funny Were Doing Stand Up For A Living; They Weren't Accountants, They Were Making $30-$50 Grand A Year On The Road, Or More.

I Don't Like To Drink Alone 'cause There's Nobody To Fight With.

Found A Bunch Of Old Shower Caps In My House. Was Gonna Throw Them Out But Realized They Make Excellent Porta Potties For Long Road Trips.

I Don't Censor Myself, But I Don't Want To Force My Sick-skewed Version Of The World, Either.

I Become A Chameleon For Wherever I Am.

My Mom Told Me She Thinks A Man In The Market Felt Her Up Today. I Asked, Where Did He Touch You? She Said, On My Knee, Bobby.

If 'what Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger,' How Do You Explain Zombies?