Women Are More Emotional, And It's Natural

I Admire The Elsie Tanners And Barbara Windsors Of The World: People Who Have Crawled Back From The Abyss. I'm Quite Camp In That Respect.

I Wouldn't Say I Was Grumpy. It's More Pathological - I Have Seismic Tantrums. I Get Red In The Face And Cry At Least Three Times A Week, And I Have To Lie Down And Have A Nap Afterwards.

I Can't Watch Other People Doing Comedy. As Soon As Somebody Starts Being Funny I Have To Turn Off Because It Upsets Me. I Get Comedy Indigestion. I Just Hate Anybody Else Being Funny. That's My Job.

I've Just Got Crap Hair. Although I Inherited A Lot Of Stuff From My Dad, Including Giant Knees, I Didn't Get His Good, Thick Hair. I Got My Mother's Thin, Wispy, Non-event Hair Instead.

I Still Can't Set Up The Ironing-board. A Complete Luddite.