Without Fake Tan I Have The Skin

The Only Way To Go On Holiday Is With Your Expectations At Ground Level. Convince Yourself Before You Go That The Weather's Going To Be Dreadful And There Will Be Nylon Sheets. You'll Then Be Pleasantly Surprised.

I Am Best Viewed From A Distance.

I Know The New Comedy God Is Surrealism, But It Doesn't Touch My Heart.

I'm Very Bad At Having Heroes. I Don't Rate Anyone Particularly Highly Because I'm So Snide And Competitive And Not Very Nice.

I Admire The Elsie Tanners And Barbara Windsors Of The World: People Who Have Crawled Back From The Abyss. I'm Quite Camp In That Respect.