Why Do They Call It The Restroom?

Pain Only Hurts When You Are Looking For A Reason To Quit. You Don't Feel A Thing When You Know You Can Still Win.

Some Girls Look Beautiful With No Makeup On At All. I Call Them Lazy. Now Go Throw Some War Paint On You Bleak Empty Canvas You.

If You Lie To A Person At Least Tell Someone Else You've Lied To The Truth. It Balances Out Your Karma.

I Don't Like When Juice Wears Tights, Its A Horrible Combination When Juice Wears Tights.

I Always Thought That If I Got No Love At All Early In My Standup Career, Or I Was God Awful, I Thought I'd Get Into Psychology.