Why Do They Call It The Restroom?

I Was Told By A Girl Once That I Should Teach A Course On How To Kiss Properly. I Thought That Was Really A Nice Compliment. I Then Asked Her What She Thought About My Sexual Prowess And She Recommended I Talk To A Guy She Used To Date. Body Blow.

I Had One Job That Was Kind Of Cop-like. One Summer I Did Security At A Miniature Golf Course. Just Standing Out In The Sun All Day, Hey, Hey, Excuse Me Sir. Get Your Putter Out Of The Whale's Ass. Come On, This Is A Place Of Miniature Business. This Is Not A Playground Even Though It Looks Like A Playground.

I Think Beating Someone To Death With A Ukulele Would Just Sound Funny.

Nice Teeth Is A Turn On For Me. If You Open Your Mouth And It Looks Like A Battle Of Epic Proportions, I Don't Like It.

This Is A Dream Come True. Hbo Is The Highest Echelon In The World For A Stand-up Comedian To Attain. Throughout My Career I've Trusted My Instincts To Lead Me Down The Right Path, And I Am Honored To Work Together With This Network While Contributing To The Legacy That Is Hbo.