Whenever I Play With Him , I

A Photographer Kept Shooting Me Every Time I Swung. I Was Very Flattered Until I Found Out He Was From Field And Stream.

As The Colonel And I Sat Swapping Stories In The Plane, A Jet Aircraft Buzzed Past Our Window. I Asked The Colonel What Type Of Aircraft It Was, And He Said, "don't Worry About It, Bob. . . If You Can See It, It's Obsolete."

And On Nearby Islands, The Japanese Army Was Eating Raw Fish. We Felt Sorry For Them. We Didn't Know That In America After The War, You Wouldn't Be Able To Get Into A Sushi Joint Without A Reservation. And We Thought They Lost.

I've Been Married Fifty-five Years And I've Been Home Three Weeks.

Everybody Is Afraid They Won't Have Any Money After They Die, But Jack Benny Discovered A Way To Take It With Him. He Had His Appendix Taken Out And A Piggy Bank Put In.