When You're Lecturing Teenagers And They Begin

I Was Too Old For A Paper Route, Too Young For Social Security And Too Tired For An Affair.

The Odds Of Going To The Store For A Loaf Of Bread And Coming Out With Only A Loaf Of Bread Are Three Billion To One.

As A Child, My Number One Best Friend Was The Librarian In My Grade School. I Actually Believed All Those Books Belonged To Her.

I've Always Been Intrigued With The Variety Of Answers This Generation Will Give Their Children Who Ask, "where Did I Come From, Mommy?" They Will Range From "number 176 Vial In Buffalo, New York," To "you Were Defrosted."

For Years, My Husband And I Have Advocated Separate Vacations. But The Kids Keep Finding Us.