Guilt: The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

There Is Nothing More Miserable In The World Than To Arrive In Paradise And Look Like Your Passport Photo.

A Child Develops Individuality Long Before He Develops Taste.

I've Exercised With Women So Thin That Buzzards Followed Them To Their Cars.

Myths That Need Clarification: "no Matter How Many Times You See The Grand Canyon, You Are Still Emotionally Moved To Tears." False. It Depends On How Many Children The Out-of-towners Brought With Them Who Kicked The Back Of Your Seat From Phoenix To Flagstaff And Got Their Gum Caught In Your Hair.

As A Graduate Of The Zsa Zsa Gabor School Of Creative Mathematics, I Honestly Do Not Know How Old I Am.