You Can Name Your Own Salary In

I Come From A Stupid Family. My Father Worked In A Bank. They Caught Him Stealing Pens.

You Don't Know Who To Believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He Said All Men Were Created Equal. He Never Went To A Nude Beach.

My Daughters Been Picked Up So Many Times She's Starting To Grow Handles

My Kids Scotch Tape Worms To The Sidewalk And Watch The Birds Get Hernias.

Well With Girls I Don't Get No Respect. I Had A Blind Date. I Waited Two Hours On The Corner. A Girl Walked By. I Said Are You Louise? She Said, Are You Rodney? I Said, Yeah. She Said, I'm Not Louise.