I Don't Get No Respect

I Got My First Break And Became A Singing Waiter At Eighteen Or Nineteen. I Couldn't Make A Living At It. I Quit. Then I Got Married And Sold Aluminum Siding. My Wife Had Problems Physically. It Was Not Good.

With Girls I Get No Respect. A Belly Dancer Told Me I Turned Her Stomach.

Once I Opened Up A Fortune Cookie And Inside Was The Guy's Cheque Next To Me I Said Hey Buddy I Got Your Cheque He Said Thanks.

I Remember I Was So Depressed I Was Going To Jump Out A Window On The Tenth Floor; They Sent A Priest Up To Talk To Me And He Said, ' On Your Mark...'

My Mother Never Breast Fed Me, She Told Me She Only Liked Me As A Friend.