When I Was A Kid, I Had

Commitment Is Different In Males And Females. In Females It Is A Desire To Get Married And Raise A Family. In Males It Means Not Picking Up Other Women While Out With One's Girlfriend.

When I Want To End A Relationship I Just Say, 'you Know, I Love You. I Want To Marry You. I Want To Have Your Children.' Sometimes They Leave Skid Marks.

I Jogged For Three Miles Once. It Was The Worst Three Hours Of My Life.

It Wasn't That No One Asked Me To The Prom, It Was That No One Would Tell Me Where It Was.

My Mother Is Such A Lousy Cook That Thanksgiving At Her House Is A Time Of Sorrow.