I Had Teeth That Stuck Out So

I'll Never Understand Why People Go To Movie Theaters To Have Conversations. Going To The Movies To Talk Is Like Going To A Restaurant To Cook. The Idea Is That You Have Paid Your Money To Have Someone Do Something Better Than You Can Do It Yourself.

One Of My First Office Jobs Was Cleaning The Windows On Brown Envelopes.

Not One Man In A Beer Commercial Has A Beerbelly.

There Is A Woman Who Swam Around Manhattan, And I Asked Her, Why? She Said, It Hadn't Ever Been Done Before. Well, She Didn't Have To Do That. If She Wanted To Something No One Had Ever Done Before, All She Had To Do Was Vacuum My Apartment.

They Usually Have Two Tellers In My Local Bank, Except When It's Very Busy, When They Have One.