I Had Teeth That Stuck Out So

We've Begun To Long For The Pitter-patter Of Little Feet - So We Bought A Dog. Well, It's Cheaper, And You Get More Feet.

All Men Are Afraid Of Eyelash Curlers. They Don't Understand Them, And They Don't Want To Get Near Them. I Sleep With One Under My Pillow, Instead Of A Gun.

I Never Know What To Get My Father For His Birthday. I Gave Him A Hundred Dollars And Said, 'buy Yourself Something That Will Make Your Life Easier.' So He Went Out And Bought A Present For My Mother.

There Is A Woman Who Swam Around Manhattan, And I Asked Her, Why? She Said, It Hadn't Ever Been Done Before. Well, She Didn't Have To Do That. If She Wanted To Something No One Had Ever Done Before, All She Had To Do Was Vacuum My Apartment.

An Amicable Divorce Is Like A Ventilated Condom; It Just Doesn't Work.