I Admire The Pope. I Have A

Men Who Can Eat Anything They Want And Not Gain Weight Should Do It Out Of Sight Of The Women They're Married To.

I'll Never Understand Why People Go To Movie Theaters To Have Conversations. Going To The Movies To Talk Is Like Going To A Restaurant To Cook. The Idea Is That You Have Paid Your Money To Have Someone Do Something Better Than You Can Do It Yourself.

I Rationalize Shop. I Buy A Dress Because I Need Change For Gum.

Waiters And Waitresses Are Becoming Nicer And Much More Caring. I Used To Pay My Check, They Would Say "thank You." That's Now Escalated Into "you Care Care Of Yourself, Now." The Other Day I Paid My Check And The Waiter Said, "don't Put Off That Mammogram."

Women Are More Accommodating. If A Woman Drinks The Last Glass Of Apple Juice In The Refrigerator, She'll Make More Apple Juice. If A Man Drinks The Last Glass Of Apple Juice, He'll Just Put Back The Empty Container.