I Admire The Pope. I Have A

At The End Of Every Year, I Add Up The Time That I Have Spent On The Phone On Hold And Subtract It From My Age. I Don't Count That Time As Really Living. I Spend More And More Time On Hold Each Year. By The Time I Die, I'm Going To Be Quite Young.

An Amicable Divorce Is Like A Ventilated Condom; It Just Doesn't Work.

Most Men Are Secretly Still Mad At Their Mothers For Throwing Away Their Comic Books. They Would Be Valuable Now.

Individuality In Dressing Is Not Important To Men. If They All Look Alike It Means They Haven't Made A Mistake.

We've Begun To Long For The Pitter-patter Of Little Feet - So We Bought A Dog. Well, It's Cheaper, And You Get More Feet.