When I Was A Kid, I Never

I've Been Writing Jokes Since I'm Fifteen. Not Out Of Happiness, But To Go To A Different Place, Because Reality Wasn't Good To Me.

She Was So Fat That Her Belly Button Makes An Echo.

My Dog Learned How To Beg By Watching Me Through The Bedroom Door.

I Was So Poor Growing Up...if I Wasn't A Boy...i'd Have Nothing To Play With.

When I Was Kidnapped As A Child My Parents Sent A Letter To The Hijackers Me Pay 5,000 Dollars Or Your Back