I'm Getting So Old My Insurance Company

I Live In A Tough Neighborhood. They Got A Children's Zoo. Last Week, Four Kids Escaped.

When I Go To A Nude Beach, I Always Take A Ruler, Just In Case I Have To Prove Something.

Life Is Full Of Temporary Situations, Ultimately Ending In A Permanent Solution.

With My Wife I Don't Get No Respect. I Made A Toast On Her Birthday To 'the Best Woman A Man Ever Had.' The Waiter Joined Me.

My Wife's So Dumb, She Got A Nail In The Spare!!