I'm Getting So Old My Insurance Company

You Know You're Old When Your Family Talk About You In Front Of You. What Are We Going To Do With Pop? We Have Company Tonight.

My Daughters Been Picked Up So Many Times She's Starting To Grow Handles

They Took A Survey: Why Do Men Get Up In The Middle Of The Night? Ten Percent Get Up To Go To The Bathroom And 90 Percent Get Up To Go Home.

My Wife Wants Sex In The Back Of The Car And She Wants Me To Drive.

Once When I Was Lost I Asked A Policeman To Help Me Find My Parents. I Said To Him, 'do You Think We'll Ever Find Them?' He Answered, 'i Don't Know, Kid. There Are So Many Places They Can Hide.