When I Told My Wife She Was

Everyone Says That Looks Don't Matter, Age Doesn't Matter, Money Doesn't Matter. But I Never Met A Girl Yet Who Has Fallen In Love With An Old Ugly Man Who's Broke.

People Say Fish Is Good For A Diet. But Fish Should Never Be Cooked In Butter. Fish Should Be Cooked In Its Natural Oils - Texaco, Mobil, Exxon .

She Was So Ugly That I Took Her To A Dog Show And She Won First Prize.

My Doctor Told Me To Watch My Drinking. Now I Drink In Front Of A Mirror.

What A Dog I Got, His Favorite Bone Is In My Arm.