The Shape I'm In, I Could Donate

With My Wife I Get No Respect. I Fell Asleep With A Cigarette In My Hand. She Lit It.

I Had Plenty Of Pimples As A Kid. One Day I Fell Asleep In The Library. When I Woke Up, A Blind Man Was Reading My Face.

We Learned Sexual Technique From Our Dog. He Taught How To Beg, And He Taught My Wife How To Roll Over And Play Dead.

Last Time I Saw A Mouth Like That, It Had A Hook In It.

I Found There Was Only One Way To Look Thin: Hang Out With Fat People.