When I See A Good Singer, I

Instead Of Running For President, Why Don’t You Try Walking On A Treadmill?

I Don't Think It's Unfair To Have Writers. I Think If You're Going To Do A Roast On Television, As If You Were Doing A Play Or You Were Reading A Script Of A Movie, You Would Have The Best Possible Material. And Those Are The People Who Score, The People Who Are Willing To Listen To The Roasting Experts And Then Come Out There And Own That Material.

Life Is Tough, And If We Don't Laugh, We're Going To - Our Head Will Explode.

I've Actually Tried To Roast Somebody That I Don't Like, And It Doesn't Go Well. Either They're A Bad Sport Or I'm Not As Funny As I Could Be.

I Usually Have Sex To My Stand-up Comedy Album. Power Move.