My Own Personal Rule Is To Tell

Before You Can Be All Deprecating It's Helpful To Be Self-deprecating.

Comedians A Lot Of Times We're On The Road, We're By Our Self. We Come Home To New York To Our Empty One-bedroom Apartment, You Know, And We Need A Place To Go Where You See A Bunch Of Other Miserable People Sit Around And Eat A Corned Beef Sandwich.

I Would Vote For You For President But I'm Against Big Government.

My Parents Passed Away When I Was A Teenager, So I Had To Learn Different Survival Techniques, I Think, In Comedy. You Know, Using Comedy As A Pressure Release, As A Release Valve In Life Really Kept My Sanity.

I Usually Have Sex To My Stand-up Comedy Album. Power Move.