What A Dog I Got, His Favorite

I Am The World's Oldest Teenager. I've Never Lost My Youthful Attitude.

Oh, I Was An Ugly Kid. My Old Man Took Me To The Zoo. They Thanked Him For Returning Me.

I Found There Was Only One Way To Look Thin: Hang Out With Fat People.

I Had Plenty Of Pimples As A Kid. One Day I Fell Asleep In The Library. When I Woke Up, A Blind Man Was Reading My Face.

I Haven't Spoken To My Wife In Years. I Didn't Want To Interrupt Her.