I Have Tried A Little Kinky Stuff.

I Once Went Out With This Wild Girl. She Made French Toast And Got Her Tongue Caught In The Toaster.

I Met The Surgeon General - He Offered Me A Cigarette.

One Night I Came Home. I Figured, Let My Wife Come On. I'll Play It Cool. Let Her Make The First Move. She Went To Florida.

I Told My Dentist My Teeth Are Going Yellow. He Told Me To Wear A Brown Tie.

When I Got Back Into Show Business In 1961, I Felt - For Obvious Reasons - That Nothing In My Life Went Right, And I Realized That Millions Of People Felt The Same Way. So When I First Came Back My Catch Phrase Was "nothing Goes Right." Early On, That Was My Setup For A Lot Of Jokes.