My Old Man Never Liked Me. He

When You Walk Up Five Flights Of Stairs At Four In The Morning, There's Definitely A Hooker Involved.

She Was So Fat That Her Bikini Is Made Out Of Two Bed Sheets (king-size).

One Year They Asked Me To Be Poster Boy - For Birth Control.

I Found There Was Only One Way To Look Thin: Hang Out With Fat People.

When I Was Born I Was So Ugly The Doctor Slapped My Mother.