My Old Man Never Liked Me. He

My Son's An Idiot. His Teacher Asked Him To Spell Mississippi. He Asked Which One? The River Or The State?

When My Wife Drives, There's Always Trouble. The Other Day She Took The Car. She Came Home. She Told Me, There's Water In The Carburetor. I Asked Her, Where's The Car? She Said, In A Lake.

I Have Nothing But Troubles With My Car. Every Sunday I Take My Family Out For A Push.

I've Never Been Lucky. The Day My Ship Came In, I Was At The Airport.

I Am The World's Oldest Teenager. I've Never Lost My Youthful Attitude.