Valentine's Day Is The Day When You

Every Year My Boss Used To Give Me A Bottle Of Expensive Brandy Because I'd Told Him That My Doctor Suggested A Drink Once In A While. This Year My Boss Gave Me The Name Of A New Doctor.

My Wife Is A Real Puritan. She Thinks Licking The Stamp On The Envelope Of A Valentine Is Foreplay.

Our Tree Was So Puny We Used Orthopedic Bulbs.

The Last Time I Saw Marilyn Was In Late 1959, When I Appeared In Let's Make Love At Fox. The Wide-eyed Marilyn I Had First Known Was Gone. This Marilyn Was More Beautiful Than Ever.

I Gave My Wife A Twenty-five-dollar Gift Certificate. She Used It As A Down Payment On A Mink Coat.