He Was Such A Bad Writer, They

I Bought My Son A Bat For Christmas. On New Year's It Flew Away.

Radio... That Wonderful Invention By Which I Can Reach Millions Of People... Who Fortunately Can't Reach Me.

I Was In A Department Store And I Saw A Weird-looking Gadget. I Asked The Young Saleslady What It Was. She Answered, "it Doesn't Do Anything. It's Just A Christmas Gift."

War Toys Are Scary. They Have A Rocket Launcher With A Bayonet Attached, In Case You Miss.

Jews Don't Drink Much Because It Interferes With Their Suffering.