He Was Such A Bad Writer, They

Marriage Is One Of The Few Institutions That Allow A Man To Do As His Wife Pleases.

I Made A Terrible Mistake Last Christmas. My Wife Made Me Swear That I Wouldn't Give Her A Fancy Gift. And I Didn't.

I Don't Mind Personal Insults, But When You Insult The Jokes That I Tell You're Insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns And Allen, Trevor Mcgee And Molly Picon.

You Can Lead A Man To Congress, But You Can't Make Him Think.

Poverty Is Not A Disgrace, But It's Terribly Inconvenient.